Can you meet me half-way?

           Right up the borderline that's where I'm gonna wait...for you.

The semester is over half way through, and I really wish that I could be done, I am in need of a break, my brain is starting to get fried like french fries. ButI am learning so so much. 

I have been learning a lot about music, literature, art, symbols, and cultures from the 15th century up until our day. For my anthropology class I also have been reading a book called Let Your Words Be Few: Symbolism and Silence in Quaker Ideology, By Richard Bauman.  So far I have read about the importance of silence in their culture, and how they only speak if they feel if God is speaking through them. I wonder how much less we would say if we all did this. I also wonder if it would change how well we listen to each other and the spirit, would we be able to follow and hear promptings more? Is it important to take that quiet time each day to hear your own thoughts. Bauman also talks of how they believed that silence was a way to line your will up with God's, you are giving yourself to God. 

I am enjoying this book more than anything else, it is increasing my understanding of symbols and how real everything is in my life. Symbols surround us: words, language, sounds, pictures, our name, time, personality, personhood, colors, shapes, acronyms, light and darkness, right and wrong, facial expressions, body movement, and emotions/feelings. 

It is crazy to think about how these things are all around us, making it hard to know exactly how else we would express ourselves, share our ideas if we didn't have words or pictures.

I also am starting to feel homesick a little. Missing my siblings, and my parents, missing my older sisters and brother-in-laws, and my niece. I am ready to spend some more time with them, to laugh, to be me, to just be with them and enjoy their company. I sure love them and it has taken me a long time to see how important they are to me, I really could not live without them. They are a huge part of me, and I am so happy they are such a big part. As we have all grown up and changed, learned and grown, we have been able to support each other more, and love each other more. I wish they could meet me in Idaho for the weekend. lol. 

I feel a big change coming on in my life and I am not sure what it is. I hope I am ready for it.

More new to replace the old.

I guess this time in my life is all about the NEW...

I have been working through things that have been hard for a couple months now, finally letting myself feel things even if they are intense. And its working, I was nervous to let myself go, and just focus on what I needed to do to work through it but so far its helping.

I was talking with a close friend yesterday night about things and she introduced me to some new music. I am learning to love it more and more.

The song is called Rise up by Ben Lee. Some of my favorite lyrics include:

And every things weird
But soon they'll be gone
Cause our whispered words
are louder then bombs
so don't you lose faith
say its no fun
cause we've come to far to stop
before we're done

You and me are gonna rise up
and they will be surprised, yep
You and me are gonna rise up
and they will be surprised, yep
(They will be)

Sometimes we get lost
But soon we'll be found
This is far to important
To turn back now

I guess the main point I want to share is that even though things are hard and different than we plan or count on, we cannot give up. We have come this far and as long as you have something to hold on to even if it is a small thing hold on tight and hope for the best. Because 'Everything is okay in the end; If it is not okay it is not the end.'

So I guess its time to eat the elephant one bite at a time, and keep moving forward.

How these new things are going...

New things...
They have been busy, very busy. New roommates are going good home still doesn't feel like home but I am getting there. I love my new ward I already feel like I fit in, and have a place. My new classes...are hard but I feel like I am slowly getting into the routine and it won't be bad as long as I keep working hard every day. My new Section I teach will be different I don't really like the room set up but hopefully it gets better. I am hoping it will, because I feel like they understand things easily so I have to come up with new things to teach, while I don't leave the other people behind who struggle. New friends that is going fairly well the ward has helped me find some of those. Things with old friends is going pretty good I haven't had much time to socialize with others new or old but we will see how that happens.

I am still feeling pretty happy even though i am so busy, i am getting enough sleep, and that is good, things are still not normal but in a couple weeks normalcy will begin to appear.

I am excited for chemistry and for archaeology. On monday I will officially change my major to Anthropology Socio-Cultural emphasis it will be exciting.

Yesterday, I wore shorts to pretend it was summertime it worked for a couple hours until i realized how cold it really was outside. lol.

Anyhow theres my random thoughts.

Keep smiling things will be ok. :)

A NEW YEAR

Its a new year...

Along with 2010 comes a few new things to my life.

1- New major...Anthropology here I come.
2- New classes and Semester
3- New roommates
4- New ward at church
5- New students to fail...jk...more like teach and help.
6- New page in my life.
7- New friends.
8- New experiences with the old friends
9- New perspective on life and where I should be going
10- New times with a special new person.

All in all its like a fresh start on life. Im so excited to see where this year will take me and how I will grow and be better. I have thought about the last year and where I was and how far I have come. I really am a new person, truly myself and much happier. All of which I account to the hard work I have been doing for myself in seeing that I am a good person, it took me a long time to see it but its true... I wish you all the best of luck and many blessings ove rthe next year. Sometimes trials and blessings in disguise that would be what I truly learned this year.

Good luck and bring on a new decade. 2010!

The happy things in my life...

My oldest sister just had her baby girl. And I am so happy that she is here! She is so cute, and I am excited to see how she will influence and add to our family! Her name is Madeline and she is almost two weeks old. I am sure that before I know it she will be a year old.

I also am Happy that it is almost Thanksgiving, I am ready to go home and be with my family, where I don't have the pressures to change who I am, or be someone I am not. They are happy when I am myself, and they are not disappointed in me. I am excited to sleep in my old room, with my old green wall, to think back to the things that I learned this last summer that helped me let go of things and move forward.

I am also so happy that this semester is almost finished, only 11 days of actual school and then a few days of tests. I think I am ready for a clean slate again, to start over and get my life back to what I want it to be. But this semester I have surprisingly done well, studying hard and teaching as well. But hard work pays off!

Almost there and then things can start again... :)

Baby its cold outside....

Wow, its sure been a while since I last posted. Much has happened, and in many ways thing shave been crazy but good. Teaching a class here at BYU every friday and loving it, sometimes I lose my patience with my students but they seem to lose patience with me first, arguing that they are right...gotta love technical people. lol.

It snowed for the first time on the ground yesterday, and the mountains are beautiful. I want it to stay retty but not be so cold. I have also been learning to play racquetball, it is my new favorite sport, just make sure you wear those goggles or you can go blind. I have been enjoying living in a house but I am ready for my own space a little, mostly I think I am ready for a break. I totaled my car in late October, and things have been slow, walking really does take up so much extra time, its crazy how much we take things for granted until they are gone.

It is so strange to think how so many things are going on yet, we still find tie to do the things that matter most to us. It makes me very grateful for those who take the time to truly talk and be with me. Grateful for the one life I do have.

And as we start this thanksgiving and soon to be Christmas I hope we all can remember our blessings and try to live each day to the fullest helping those around us, and seeing the good in life, even when we are surrounded by so much bad.

a new season is coming once again.

back and not black...haha... still white as ever... especially because my tan has faded

so back at BYU. learning lots. growing lots as a person in many ways. living situations are much better. and i am getting closer to finding a major. either in pre-med and a few others.

most of the things going on in my life relate to school and work.
I teach an anthropology lab and I have been enjoying that a lot.

recently I have been thinking about friends and the influence that they have on ones life. a true friend makes life better, they give back they enhance your life, when you are sad they are there when they are said you in return are there for them.

so now the time has come to gather the wheat and get rid of the tares. gather the good and get rid of the bad. whatever the bad may be in my life.

General Conference was very very good. It reminded me of how important I am to Heavenly Father. That he loves me and knows me for who I really am, and no matter what happens he always loves me the same.

So as you face the things in your life, see the good and get rid of the bad. easier said than done. but don't give up and do what you feel is right. there is lots of good in the worlds if only you let yourself see it.