What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

This week has been rather exciting. Today was rather long, and the weird thing is after long weekends it is always hard to get started again. But at the same time I was thankful for a rest for my brain and just to catch up on sleep and relax. There has been a lot of things I have been thinking about recently, mostly I try to focus on whatever needs my attention at that time. Sometimes it works better than others. A few things that I have been learning about and thinking about:

- How much food is integrated into our lives, it controls social situations, it influences relationships, food is more than a physical relationship, it is an emotional and a mental relationship with not only our bodies but with others.
-I have been thinking a lot about Dress and Grooming and the standards of appearance, what messages are people trying to send by the way that they dress?
- India has given me a new obsession, it is so interesting and totally different than any other place I have ever learned about, there is something about it that makes it enchanting.
- Learning HTML and how to create and fix websites. This whole HTML stuff is new to me, but hopefully I can figure it out without having to take a class.
- Beauty and Belief which is a new Exhibit in the Museum of Art. Today was the Press Conference, which it was so great to be there and to learn and feel the excitement of this new exhibit, and how many beautiful things are there that not only teach me about Islamic culture but about my own ideas and concepts behind beauty.
- I have been thinking a lot about place, and how we talk about our favorite places.
- I have been thinking about how certain words bring certain connotations, sometimes words cannot effectively express our thoughts/ideas/emotions, which is why there are other forms of language besides words or an actual language itself.
- I have been thinking a lot about my future and what I want, and how to find what will make me truly happy.
- How Celiac Disease influences everything else, also how this disease really has to do with your choice in reaction and actions toward it and choosing to face certain consequences for certain things.
 
I guess I am definitely tired. But in many ways my body is so tired but I feel like my brain is just starting to come more alive again. I am still struggling but things are getting better and better. At the same time I feel like right now I am living to get by, but hopefully this summer things will slow down a little so I can enjoy the day more, instead of just makin' it. The whole key is that I am actually making it, i am drowning, I am not dead, I am making it. In the end it comes to this song that just came out by Kelly Clarkson: What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger... Now my theme song for the next month :)

Don't go Changin'

So I guess there have been so many things happening in my life, and me trying to make sense of it all with a part functioning brain. I would love to expand on these topics but I think I will just list them out and if you want to hear more about something specific comment and I will expand my thoughts.

-Working as a PR Representative for the College of Fine Arts and Communications and the MOA
- TAing and enjoying working with freshmen, I just wish they were not so quiet
- reading lots and lots for classes
-Learning about INdia and what personhood and identity means to them through out the stages of their lives
- Learning about cultural models and expectations and schemas, and how one comes to terms with all these complicated ideas and concepts that dont even have words for them
-Sleeping lots and lots really on average 9 hours a day for my head
-Still having headaches that last all day but mostly they are starting to stay at the back of my head now so that is a plus
- Taking lots of vitamins and minerals to help rebuild my immune system
- Recognizing that so many people matter to me in my life, sometimes I dont have the guts to say so or even tell them they are important, but I am thankful for some one different every day
- Learning that it is ok to ask for help, even though sometimes I want to try and do it alone
-Learning HTML, and how to connect websites, and create site maps etc.
- learning about Apaches and how they joke, also how places and names and words all create and help us remember meaning and influence for the rest of our lives
- Watching Castle :) highly recommend it
- getting to know my roomies Jessica, Theresea, and Meagan
- remembering that it is ok to cry
- finding out that I really do miss my younger brother, and he makes BYU a better place
- happy about the simple things everyday
- I love saying good morning even when it is not morning time
- cooking lots and lots, mostly veggies and sausages and random things to help keep me full.
- eating lots of oranges and apples, which make me miss the apples from home
- saving my money
- organizing my research
- analyzing it too
- missing my sisters
- learning that it is ok to trust people
-got my hair cut
- got new shoes for work
- got something exciting for myself from amazon :)
-trying to keep my head up

I guess all in all the last month has been one of growth hardship and trial. Today at church we talked a lot about why we face and go through trials. 2 Nephi 1-2 really hit home to me as the teacher talked about why it is all worth it. Michelle said something like " Because Jesus Christ is real, and He lives, that makes it all worth living for." This gave me hope as I have been feeling rather unsure of how to face and deal with the many worries and concerns. It helped me recognize that God is still in my life, He still loves me, He has not forsaken me. I am glad to know He is there, and that He can here me, help me and heal me. It is a process and one which requires patience and trust but I know He will help if we only ask him too.

I say to you and to myself, Don't give up because you have something worth fighting for!