Don't go Changin'

So I guess there have been so many things happening in my life, and me trying to make sense of it all with a part functioning brain. I would love to expand on these topics but I think I will just list them out and if you want to hear more about something specific comment and I will expand my thoughts.

-Working as a PR Representative for the College of Fine Arts and Communications and the MOA
- TAing and enjoying working with freshmen, I just wish they were not so quiet
- reading lots and lots for classes
-Learning about INdia and what personhood and identity means to them through out the stages of their lives
- Learning about cultural models and expectations and schemas, and how one comes to terms with all these complicated ideas and concepts that dont even have words for them
-Sleeping lots and lots really on average 9 hours a day for my head
-Still having headaches that last all day but mostly they are starting to stay at the back of my head now so that is a plus
- Taking lots of vitamins and minerals to help rebuild my immune system
- Recognizing that so many people matter to me in my life, sometimes I dont have the guts to say so or even tell them they are important, but I am thankful for some one different every day
- Learning that it is ok to ask for help, even though sometimes I want to try and do it alone
-Learning HTML, and how to connect websites, and create site maps etc.
- learning about Apaches and how they joke, also how places and names and words all create and help us remember meaning and influence for the rest of our lives
- Watching Castle :) highly recommend it
- getting to know my roomies Jessica, Theresea, and Meagan
- remembering that it is ok to cry
- finding out that I really do miss my younger brother, and he makes BYU a better place
- happy about the simple things everyday
- I love saying good morning even when it is not morning time
- cooking lots and lots, mostly veggies and sausages and random things to help keep me full.
- eating lots of oranges and apples, which make me miss the apples from home
- saving my money
- organizing my research
- analyzing it too
- missing my sisters
- learning that it is ok to trust people
-got my hair cut
- got new shoes for work
- got something exciting for myself from amazon :)
-trying to keep my head up

I guess all in all the last month has been one of growth hardship and trial. Today at church we talked a lot about why we face and go through trials. 2 Nephi 1-2 really hit home to me as the teacher talked about why it is all worth it. Michelle said something like " Because Jesus Christ is real, and He lives, that makes it all worth living for." This gave me hope as I have been feeling rather unsure of how to face and deal with the many worries and concerns. It helped me recognize that God is still in my life, He still loves me, He has not forsaken me. I am glad to know He is there, and that He can here me, help me and heal me. It is a process and one which requires patience and trust but I know He will help if we only ask him too.

I say to you and to myself, Don't give up because you have something worth fighting for!

Life gets faster and faster...

I have been doing my undergraduate research recently and I have been learning a lot. I thought I was good at socializing before but I am realizing I sure still have a lot to learn about listening. I also have spent more time thinking about the blessings that have come from being home, my calling at church and also having a concussion.

For the most part I have been thinking a lot about Christ and His life and what it means to apply the atonement in my life, what it means to go through the repentance process. Today, I taught the Relief Society lesson and I used the water with food coloring drops being put in and applying the atonement was like pouring in the bleach. Which actually does take the color out of the water, I was slightly surprised.

So for the list of blessings from having a concussion:
- I got time to wind down from a hard few years at school.
- I got to spend time with my family and particularly Joslyn and Reid.
- I was able to make and be friends with Katlin Dexter
- Learning to put myself first. Understanding my priorities.
- Learning my own personal limits.
- Learning that time heals all wounds and that it is ok that it takes time for healing.
- My relationship with Jesus Christ was and continues to be strengthened because I had time to think, ponder, listen, pray and feel the Holy Ghost influence my life.
- I finally got time to work through some of my own concerns and scars from other parts of my life.
- I learned to let things go that are beyond my control, I think I am still learning this.
- I learned that I have to organize my time and to use my time effectively.
- I learned that I have to write things down, so I can remember them.
- I learned to be more organized in my brain and in my life.
- I learned to think better, think clearer.
- I learned how to understand my own thought processes and start to change them when I am thinking about things that are not positive.
- I am learning/learned to be flexible with my time/plans/schedule.
- I learned that those who really care will make the effort to make my life easier.

Overall, I know that it may not have been or will be the happiest experience in my life, but there are blessings. Like it says in the song " What Faith Can Do"  You have to face the clouds to find the silver lining. There is silver lining in my life even though it is kind of a storm right now.

The joy is I know that I can make it through any storm as long as I continue to include my Father in Heaven in my plans and as long as I trust that Christ's suffering and atonement really works and can heal all wounds.

Life as I know it.

So it has been forever since I updated my blog, but life has been good. I have recently rediscovered how much I enjoy some harder music. not on a daily basis but when I need to get pumped up or get myself excited for something. My friend Katlin gave me the Skillet CD and this is their first track and I love it :) 

Life is going well. I am staying home in WA to do research for my undergraduate degree in Anthropoogy, which I am excited/nervous/ happy about. I guess I probably am procrastinating by writting on my blog, but hey don't we all do that?!? haha

I am happy and in so many ways my life is so blessed. Reid leaves for his mission in a few weeks to Fortaleza Brazil, so that is an exciting thing coming up. It is crazy to me how fast time flies, especially when we are focusing on others and other things. I have been learning and growing a lot this summer. Not only physically, but mostly mentally and spiritually. I have really come to understand how much Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us. How so many times we want to go or do this one thing, and we feel right about a certain choice, and then we make that choice work towards it and it changes or takes you down a different path, you take lots of detours and you turn around, you take wrong turns, and you take right turns, even left turns sometimes too... haha... but really if you are striving to follow and do what you know and feel is right, then blessings come in ways we cannot imagine or understand.

Also I really have learned more about the atonement of Jesus Christ. He lived and died for us. He loves us. Something that Reid said in his farewell talk yesterday stands out to me about being more like Christ. He said" Charity is not loving someone because Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love them. True Charity is loving someone how Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love them." This really made me think a lot about letting my heart be changed towards others and also towards myself. Love is the best and most important motivator. All we do stems from love, or lack of it. So my question I want you to think about, if you or anyone else ever reads this, is: Where is the Love? Where can we find it and how can we know it is real? What does love mean to you? What does it feel like?

For me love is a smile, a laugh, a hug, a heart to heart talk, crying on a friends shoulder, having a friend cry on my shoulder, selfless service, someone doing the little things that I either hate doing or dont have time to do. There are more ways but to me love shatters all doubt and fear, trust remains and it is enduring. a scripture comes to mind. 1 Corinthians 13. This whole chapter is about faith, hope and charity, which to me is love, pure love.

Anyhow, I am happy and life is good. In so many ways I feel so blessed. Life as I know it is better than I thought it could be :)

The Blessings of the Gospel

This last week I finished reading the Book of Mormon. I started in mid-december, and finished at the end of february. I think this is one of the fastest times I have ever read it all at once. This time as I read I learned a few things:
- the timeline of the book of mormon, and the order of events.
- I forgot how violent Ether is, and how quickly those people forgot about The lord delivering them, how quickly do I forget?
- I also learned an important lesson while I was reading in 3 Nephi (8:5 and 10:18) with my mom, We were looking at the length of time it was from the earthquakes coming to the people and the time that Christ came. The earthquakes happened in the "thirty and fourth year in the first month on the fourth day of the month." and Christ came and manifest himself unto them at the "end of the thirty and fourth year." They were called to repentance and approximately eleven months later Christ came to see them. It was not a quick fix. They had to go through that same process as many people do now.
-I also have felt an increase of understanding come, sometimes I forgot myself and I feel like I am part of the story, living and breathing in what is happening, forgetting time and place.
- I also really love how much the Book of Mormon talks of Christ, and His mercies. He is always helping someone, healing someone, answering their prayers comforting someone, loving someone. This book truly testifies of Him and His ministry.

In conclusion, I want to bear my testimony.  I know that this book, The Book of Mormon is true, without a doubt in my mind. It is not just some story from the past. It is what truly happened years ago. This book, has the answers to life, and through the Holy Ghost we can know the truth of all things. I know that Jesus Christ is my savior, and it is only through Him and His life, His sacrifice that I able to live everyday. I know that it is only through His atonement, that I can be made whole. I know that He knows who I am and that He truly cares about me. I am not alone and because of Christ has descended below all things, He knows what pain, sin, temptations, heart break, loneliness, sorrow, sadness, and sickness is, and He knows how to make all of those things feel better. I know that He loves us and thinks of us often. We are on the palms of His hands, and He is with us, even when we think He is not there. I know that I can never repay Christ for the things He has done for me, that is impossible. But I will live my life trying to do what I feel is right, serving Him and serving others, to show Him how grateful I am for His infinite and all encompassing sacrifice.

Life is hard, but thankfully we can and will make it when we rely and trust in Jesus Christ.

Thanksgiving and End of the Semester Surprises

When I was home for thanksgiving, we took the four-wheelers out and pulled doughnuts. It was pretty fun, really cold, and Joslyn tipped over a four-wheeler, it was kind of funny. This is where we filmed each other, and where we waited until our turn to drive. Thanksgiving was fun, it was good to be home and to get a break before I had to go back to school and face the end of a semester.

So the end of this semester had lots of surprises. Me and Mary are the only ones staying in our apartment, which makes me sad, because I love our apartment. But  I know that they are doing what they feel like is best and right for them, and thankfully they wont be too far away. 

I am still dating Preston and that has been going well. As in any dating relationship it has ups and downs and occasional confusion. But right now things are great. Before I left for Germany, we danced in a parking lot to a song, it was really cute.

 

This is from when Preston and I went with our ward to look at the Lights on Temple Square. 

It was really fun to go to Salt Lake and see the lights, We also got to see Jennie and Chris. Which was fun too.

The end of classes was really stressful for me, I am still recovering. It was a lot of work all at once, and in many ways I feel like I could have prepared more, but it is all over and done with. At least I got decent grades. I am getting better at school, but it still is hard, I guess learning is never really an easy thing to accomplish, all that matters is that I continue to learn and grow.I did enjoy my classes this semester, I learned a lot, and I learned about many things that I am going to need to prepare for so I can find a job with my major.

Madeline chewing up a piece of Orange.

Now I am in Germany visiting Geneil and Josh and Madeline. It is very cold here and the last couple of nights we have been adventurous and we have gone to a couple of Christmas Markets. Last night we went to one in Bavaria, which is part of Germany, it is like Texas is to the United States. It was really fun, but rather cold, there is a lot of snow here, which is beautiful but it makes it hard to be out for long. Madeline is talking up a storm, sadly we still can't understand her very well. There are some things we understand but most of her talking is gibberish. But she definitely understands us. It has been really fun to feed her real food. She really likes the little oranges, we give her half of a slice of orange and she chews it until the juice is all out, then she spits out the skin.
She also loves to laugh. Every time someone laughs she starts to laugh too. She covers up her mouth with both her hands and laughs away. It is funny because sometimes she laughs at things when they are not intended to be funny and she makes us all lighten up.

Church was canceled today because of the snow and the ice, and snow plows typically don't do much on Sunday because in Germany most people stay inside and enjoy quiet time.I am glad I still have lots of time before I go back to school. I am not really ready to start again. I honestly am slightly nervous about going back, and starting over. But, new starts are always nice, it just will take some time for me to get used to the idea. I will try to update this more with my adventures in Germany. 

The Last Month and a Half. GREAT!

So where do I start...
According to the sound of music it is the very beginning... so here goes, lol:

Since September 15th, I have been busy with many things.
School, has been great. Full of new ideas, and lots of tests but I am doing well and enjoying the things I am learning. I am still loving my Biological Anthropology Class which has been very enlightening to the truth of evolution. I still am not sure what I think about it, but I know that it is very intriguing. It is interesting in more ways than one, and that we really are much more advanced than monkeys or gorillas.

Reid, Curtis, Alicia and I went to General Conference

I had some awesome experiences being at the conference center for most of conference this year. It was very cool  to be there and feel the messages the Prophet and Apostles had for the members of the church.  Some talks that really stood out to me include: President Ucktdorf , Elder Richard G. Scott, Elder Bednar, Elder Packer, Elder Cook, Elder Eyring, President Monson. It was such a cool experience to be there.

Preston and I at Aunt Marilyn's House

Together at the Ward Halloween Party Oct. 30

I also started dating a marvelous boy, Preston Morgan. Today it has been three weeks that we have officially been dating. But since our first date we have seen each other every day and talked as well. He gives amazing hugs, and he is so humble. I definitely falling for him. ha ha. One of my favorite things that we do together is go for walks. We get to talk and catch up, it is really nice. I really am enjoying having him as a friend. He is growing on me each day. He always tells me adorable things, about how much he likes me and how great I am. I feel so lucky to just be dating him. I am learning and growing so much as I spend time with him.

I also am loving where I live. My roommates are great! Mary is awesome we talk each morning because she gets back so late at night. Heidi is just always so happy and fun, and she has helped me a lot when I have been sick this semester. Chanda is always so giving, she serves me all the time. Katelin always encourages me, and reminds me how important the gospel is. Sara is so fun to laugh with, she helps me be grateful for the simple things, and to recognize the happy things in life.
This is all of us but Chanda, having a random unplanned dance party in our kitchen. We dressed up like Thugs and danced away our stress all together it was awesome bonding time :) 

Also, It was great to have Geneil and Josh and Madeline come visit us. They came after General Conference for homecoming weekend at the beginning of October.  It has been so good to see them so much this year. I also really have felt a stronger relationship between me and Geneil. We have been working on talking each week, and staying caught up on each others lives and the things we each are facing. I am so grateful for her. I love her and her family so much. Josh has also been very helpful. He is always giving me dating advice, and being supportive of me. J-Dawg has always been there for me and that makes me glad. I also can not get over how cute Madeline is. She always laughs with me and it makes me so happy that she recognizes me. The other day Geneil was on facebook looking at my page and M started waving to my picture because she thought it was me in real life. We skyped and she waved again. It makes me happy that she knows who I am.

Reid and I also went to Harry Potter 7 the midnight showing. Which was really fun. It was fun to see with him. We didn't like this movie as much as the others but it was still fun. It still blows me away that he is here at BYU with me. But he is learning and growing and learning how to be positive, and it has been a great experience for him. I see how happy he is, and that he is growing and that makes me happy. He still is one of my best friends, and I love how well we get along with each other. It has been super nice to have him here to vent with, laugh with, supporting each other, and to just know I am not alone.

Overall, This semester has been the best I have ever had. Last winter is definitely pretty close to my favorite but this one is winning. I just am loving the things in my life, including my ward and the support and service they give everyone. I feel so blessed to be alive at this time and here at BYU. It is crazy how much the Lord blesses you when you are doing what is right. His hand is in ALL things. It is also crazy I have met some really amazing people in my classes and I have gotten to know them on deeper levels and in many ways I feel like we have been able to answer each others prayers. I feel so much hope, and so much love.

I am so lucky, and things are just GREAT!

Another Crazy Start here at the Y

Wow...
Time fly's by so fast. I cannot believe it is the middle of September already. It seems like just yesterday I went home for the summer, left for Germany, was an EFY Counselor, and was killing mosquitoes, was a the beach in Oregon, and then at Kelli's wedding.

I am doing well enjoying my classes a lot. Learning a bunch about applied anthropology, medical anthropology and evolution. It is interesting to learn at here at BYU and see how much of it really does influence the rest of the world. I also have been starting to figure out what and where I should do my field work. I also have decided to try to go to grad school and get a masters in medical anthropology. Maybe just maybe I can have an influence on the world by going into this particular subject or field.

We will definitely have to see, where this will take me, I am excited and nervous all at the same time.

Another class I am really enjoying is my Family History class. I am learning how to do research and learning a lot about my ancestors and the legacy they left behind. It is crazy for me to realize that these people are real, they once lived here on this earth. They wanted to be remembered, and they wanted to be happy too. It blows me away... they are not just a name, they really lived.

I am really happy. Enjoying my new ward, and meeting new people. This weekend I have a ward social which I am really excited for. It should be great! Overall, I have just been enjoying my life one day at a time, trying to focus on now and the things that I am faced with, and for the most part I have been really happy!