Some things I have been thinking about recently…

Bridal Veil Falls: Climbing Up and Down

Persecution, Struggle, Overcoming, and Giving Up

What is it like to be persecuted?

A few words that come to mind: painful, scary, hard, hopeless, unsure, threatened, and hurt.  I am sure there are many more emotions, feelings, thoughts and deep down pains that go along with persecution. Many, not only for those being persecuted but the persecutor, feel these feelings.  Persecution is treating someone with hate that is different than you, simply because you do not like them you cause them grief, pain and hardship.

How long can someone withstand persecution?

Many have gone through persecution, and for their endurance I commend them. Endurance is not an easy task, it takes 

courage, motivation that things will get better, and trust that you are not alone in the persecution you face.

How is struggle different than persecution?

Struggle to me is something that is similar but not exactly the same as persecution. Struggle may be from interior circumstances, or external circumstances, things you can change and things you cannot. Persecution is inflicted on someone because they may be different, or they think or behave differently. Being persecuted is not a choice that is made by the persecuted, but by the persecutor. 

Why do we like to struggle?

Struggle means we are fighting; it means we are facing the un-faceable.  We are working hard to keep our head above the water. At the BYU Museum of Art  where I work there is an exhibition called William Lambson his work is in the electronic gallery. There is a video where he is struggling in a river. He is trying to get on a contraption that once he gets balanced he appears to be standing on the water. He tries over and over again to get on top of this contraption.  Eventually he makes it he gets it all level and it appears like he is standing on the water, even walking on the water. This exhibition really made me think about struggle. There are times we feel like giving up, letting go of what is keeping us afloat, but somehow we still don’t let go even if we are barely holding on. As we struggle we get stronger. There are times when we struggle harder than others but every time we struggle we get stronger to face the next challenge.

Why overcoming and struggle go hand in hand?

View from the Y trail

I know that none of this is new to anyone, and people have thought about this all the way back o the beginning I am sure, but we cannot overcome unless we struggle first. Without a struggle overcoming something would not mean anything really. A good friend of mine, Michelle Walker, talked about this in terms of climbing mountains. She told of story of climbing Mt. Timpanogus to see the sun rise. She was having a hard time and someone in her group stayed behind and put his hand on her shoulder and encouraged her to keep climbing. The sun was almost ready to rise and she said lets not go to the top, let’s watch form here, but her friend pushed her to continue. They made it to the top. She had tears in her eyes when she said this was the most glorious sunrise she had ever seen. She had to struggle to overcome. She had to climb that mountain. Every time I think of overcoming I think of climbing mountains.

What does it mean to really give up?

To me it means to sit down where you are, to stop climbing, to turn around, to not get back up when you fall. Now there are many times I feel like I have fell in my life, literally and figuratively.

 One time that particularly stands out to me is about a year ago I fell and I hit the back of my head playing broom hockey. The severity of the fall gave me a grade 3 concussion, life got really hard. I was forgetful, I couldn’t drive, work, watch tv, read, use electronics. All I could do was sleep and sit on a swing outside, talk and eat. I felt like I had lost a part of me, to this day part of me is still gone. I still have headaches daily, and I still forget many, many things. I never knew how much one event could change someone so much.  There had been so many times here at school, and at work where I have felt like it would never get better. When it first happened I never thought I would be able to focus again, or to remember everything someone said in conversations we had, or how to get from this place to that even though I lived there my whole life, and the roads hadn’t changed. I thought and felt like it would never get better.

Here it is one year later, still recovering, but I am getting better each day. One small step at a time, I am remembering things better, and in many ways things seem a blur over the last while. It is hard to remember some things, and I think gaps will always be there, but I am definitely changed.

To me this was one of the biggest literal falls I have ever gone through. But I got up. Each day I choose to get up and struggle, so that one day I can overcome, and I will overcome.

Overcoming this is my choice so some extent, but at the same time it is up to my head and body too. But it is my job for me to take care of my body so it can heal, that is my choice. I choose to be happy, and to continue when I don’t want too. There are many times I felt like sitting down and crying and there are many times that I have. But I got back up.

If you are feeling like the struggle is too much, or the climb is not worth it. Keep reminding yourself that you can sit down but only if you will get back up. If you are being persecuted there is hope. There is a song called Living Proof (to the left) and it reminds me of what it means to continue in the fight.

I am the living proof that you don't have to give up. You are not alone even though it may seem like you are. You are not. Open your eyes and see that everyone is fitting their own battle, and that is why we have each other, so we dont have to face the dark alone. I want you to know that I love you and you are loved. Take luck my friends, and dont be afraid to climb those mountains.